Only Martha.....

Could plate a baby and get away with it!!!!

Also yet another reason I shouldn't be left to babysit....I will dress your child like a fancy food the plate them on a bed of lemons. Don't tempt me lady!! Doooooon't you tempt me!!

Quote of the day.....

“They’re like little bags of meat on legs, but they’re also just so bloody cute. They look a little like koalas at that size.”

To put this into context, here's a picture of a "little meatbag". They kind of look like Snuggle the bear huh? Silly Kiwi's.

Babydoll Sheep (OMG the cuteness)

Snuggle the creepy fabic softener bear

Chance's are.....

I'm not going to like your girlfriend.

Sorry to say manfriends but it's true. It's pretty rare that I deem a woman good enough, smart enough or pretty enough to be with the men in my life. Not that I don't think she's cool and prefectly acceptable for some other smuck out there, I just hold the women you date to a higher standard.

That is all.

Marshmallows are a sticky situation....

Anyone that knows me knows I hate marshmallows. They are disgusting and I can't even get them anywhere near my mouth area without wanting to barf. However, it has recently come to light that my gag reflex is OK with homemade marshmallows. Imagine that and the world of marshmallow things that could potentially become available to me! OK so it may just be s'mores but still that's exciting.

Last night I found out that once again, Martha Stewart can bite me, because marshmallows are not as easy to make as they seem. . . . . .or maybe I shouldn't be drinking while making them. Needless to say batch #1 was a total failure! Don't you worry marshmallows, I'll be back to conquer you with a vengence. . . . . . . .as soon as I get a stand mixer.

Strawberry Fields Forever.....

Please observe this photo. Note that I have marked the proximity of the BEST STRAWBERRY STAND IN THE WORLD to my house.

I totally understand if your jealousy and envy are too much to control right now. It is a pretty awesome set up. I'm predicting some fresh strawberry jam and for sure some amazing strawberry cocktails to be made within one week. Straw-tini anyone?

I heart the simple life.....

You have to love your town when this is the worst thing posted on the local police log.....

"A 6-year-old child in the lobby said he was twirling with his eyes closed at a gymnastics class on Adams Street. When he opened his eyes everyone was gone, so he walked to the PD. An officer reunited him with his parent."

True story, I swear!

Damnit Martha......

Seriously? Who has time for this crap? I really want to like you but you are going to need to stop sending me INSANE craft ideas like this, it's making me feel like a subpar human being and crafter.....