Best advice I've ever recieved....

"In the interest of your girlfriend, I'm no longer interested." SEND.

Thanks Benita. Mad love for your call'in it like it is.

Pirates and Public Transit....

About a week ago I was riding MUNI to the A's/Giants game in San Francisco. All was going well, Benita and I had stopped for Champagne Brunch at Fresca on Fillmore (which FYI, no longer serves bottomless mimosas) and split a bottle of Cava making us both feel quite lively. We be-bopped onto the train without a care in the world ready for a day at the ballpark. We had just grabbed two available seats when I saw him......sitting just 4 rows away was a man dressed in FULL ON PIRATE GARB! We are talking sword, ruffle shirt, eye patch and everything!

"Is that a fucking pirate?" I asked poking Benita.

Benita looked up and focused a drunk eye on the buccaneer, "Yes, that does appear to be a pirate."

"Fair enough." I said going about the business of texting my Lame-o Giant fan friends about the A's pending victory.

Turns out pirate sightings are lucky, the A's swept the series with the Giants that day.

Pour some Vodka on it.

"I thought I'd still be in extreme pain. But I feel nothing.
I'd like some more nothing. [Miranda pours her some more Skyy
vodka]"

- Carrie Bradshaw

I'll drink to that Carrie! Just goes to show, when your world goes pear shaped and you don't think you can deal the best course of action is to drown the problem in sweet sweet vodka. And if that's true, I'm a fucking fire fighter. And no, I don't see anything wrong with it so do me a solid get off you anti-alcohol soap box.

You see, I've realized that the aftermath of a bad or failed relationships can go on of two ways 1) The Depression or 2) The Vodka. I've found the Vodka works best for me. Why bother being depressed when you can just stun the brain sensless with Vodka (or your drink of choice) and be the life of the party? I feel it works out best for everyone. The injured party is not a big crying mess, and is instead always up for hitting the bars. And, in most cases, is far more likely to end up dancing on some sort of table. What could be more fun than that?

Death to the Golden Rule.

All my life I've been an obscenely good person, in my opinion anyway. I try to help out where I can and treat everyone how I would like to be treated. My family raised me to be careful and respectful of other people and their feelings. You know, the Golden Rule...."do on to others as you would have done to you." Recently I have decided that the Golden Rule is just a big steamy pile of crap made up by someone somewhere along the line to keep children from beating the crap out of each other on the playground. It doesn't work in real life. Why you ask? Because people are fundamentally selfish, that's why.

My own brother has been on the outs with my family because he's been so self centered lately. It's all about him, what makes him happy, what he wants......pisses everyone off. Today I realized that he's got it right. Why bother putting time and energy into other people that are just going to disappoint you in the end by not showing you the same consideration? It's pointless and to be totally honest pretty fucking hurtful.

So today I've decided that there is nothing wrong with always looking out for ole' numero uno. I've been considerate and nice for too long with nothing to show for it. Sorry Golden Rule, but it's time I start putting me first and quit just expecting other people to do the right thing by me. Is it selfish? YES. Is wrong? NO. Do I care what you think? NOT ANYMORE.